Me likes a pinch of cynicism with a drop of sarcasm. Come on motorists. We’re talkin’ to you.
And if you ever wonder why cyclists can seem so angry, please just try and imagine my unplanned jousting with moving hunks of metallic velocity driven by impatient motorists who just know that cyclist, if you see her/him at all, is a jerk. As such here’s MY self righteous plea born of lingering adrenaline, spawned by the fear generated by near misses with 2000 lb. cars:
Get the donut out you mouf. Stop Txt-driving. Put the mobile phone down. Look at the Effing road. Learn how to yield. Take a F*CKing breath. Can you please chill behind the wheel for 5 friggin seconds? I swear it’s hardly ever more than FIVE SECONDS. I mean come on, you give that much time to the m&m you dropped on the floor. Do you realize that your impatience and self righteous territorialism puts my life at risk? Share the road (please? And thank you.) The life you save is a mother, a son, an aunt, a beloved son, a grandpa, a friendly neighbor, a grade school kid who doesn’t read driving manuals (like you should have done.) Your actions, responsibility, empathy, and magnanimity prevent broken bones, skinned knees, needless road rash, spilled blood, concussions and even hospitalization (or worse!) . I promise you, a little patience is worth your effort and attention. And I am truly apologetic if my little 20 pound bicycle has caused you a full 10 second delay or raise your ire.
I promise that getting to the grocery store 16 seconds later than you hoped will not jeopardize your modern lifestyle or your carefully coiffed reputation.
And we thank you for your support. :)